Thursday, May 7, 2009

Love, peace, and pineapples

I just finished reading The Five Love Languages and I really liked it.  It's not anything he said was earth-shattering or even new--but a light bulb went on in my head and now I can see things that were vague shadows before.

I've known for a long time that I love spending time with people.  That the most mundane activities can become the highlight of my day when shared with someone I enjoy being around.  I just wasn't quite aware how vital quality time (and quality conversations) were to my sanity.
Dr. Chapman uses the metaphor of a "love tank" to illustrate how one feels at a particular time.  If your love tank is empty it can radically affect your entire outlook and happiness.

I don't like to admit it but I struggled with a hefty amount of culture shock a few months after coming here but I think I've stumbled upon the source of the difficulties.  The other Americans here were often busy and I rarely saw them, but my Chinese friendships were still too new to be deep--and growth hindered by cultural/communicative differences made them develop slowly.  I almost never got the chance to sit down and have a conversation more meaningful than, "Are you used to the climate here?" or, "Do you want a Chinese boyfriend?"  It felt like I was missing some part of my heart I didn't even know I needed.

Thankfully after five or six months I did develop some close friendships which have meant the world to me.  And more of them are feeling natural every day.  I have a lot to be thankful for.


"If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that's his problem.  Love and peace are eternal."
-John Lennon

2 comments:

Sammie said...

hmmm maybe I should read that. I'm not sure what language I speak.

Anonymous said...

You and I are similar in that respect. I struggle here not having close friends and meaningful conversation. It creates an undue struggle to not rely on my teens to fill that in my life. I think that's why I read more now than ever in my life because it's kinda like having a deep conversation. :/