Wednesday, May 20, 2009

This is a test

This is a test to see if I can actually post a blog via email, and also plagiarize my sister.  She sent me this conversation she overheard between one of her friends and an Aussie.  So if this works and you read it please comment so I'll know it worked :)

Chao - I'm looking for a job.
Anonymous lady - Have you applied in a computer shop?
Chao (looking confused) - No, I applied at McDonald's.
lady - But aren't you good at fixing computers and things?
Chao - Um, I can fix my computer when it breaks.
lady - Can't you just tell people what's wrong with their computers and things?Aren't you really tech savvy?
Chao - No, I've never had any training with that.
lady - Well it seems like there are always Asians in computer shops.  You could probably get a job at a computer shop because you're Asian.  Why don't you go apply at one of those?

Now, I'm aware that some things in Asian cultures seem silly and irrational to Westerners.  For instance, in some cultures, when you're born, you're considered 1 year old.  

For anyone who is looking to make friends with someone from an Asian culture, let me just tell you that it is at least 3 times more ridiculous to try and change 2 students' minds on the subject.  They did not invent their culture's methods.  So you can waste your time trying to logically prove that people aren't one year old until they've lived 12 months outside the womb, but really, what are you accomplishing? 

You're succeeding in criticizing something that they can't help.  You're making them feel foolish.  You're probably offending them.  Besides that, let's entertain the notion that it's not as ridiculous as first appearances suggest.  Perhaps they start counting from conception.  Perhaps they use the number as "in the first year of life" rather than "has lived one year."

I'm not an expert on cross-cultural relationships, but I know one or two ways NOT to show care.


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Love, peace, and pineapples

I just finished reading The Five Love Languages and I really liked it.  It's not anything he said was earth-shattering or even new--but a light bulb went on in my head and now I can see things that were vague shadows before.

I've known for a long time that I love spending time with people.  That the most mundane activities can become the highlight of my day when shared with someone I enjoy being around.  I just wasn't quite aware how vital quality time (and quality conversations) were to my sanity.
Dr. Chapman uses the metaphor of a "love tank" to illustrate how one feels at a particular time.  If your love tank is empty it can radically affect your entire outlook and happiness.

I don't like to admit it but I struggled with a hefty amount of culture shock a few months after coming here but I think I've stumbled upon the source of the difficulties.  The other Americans here were often busy and I rarely saw them, but my Chinese friendships were still too new to be deep--and growth hindered by cultural/communicative differences made them develop slowly.  I almost never got the chance to sit down and have a conversation more meaningful than, "Are you used to the climate here?" or, "Do you want a Chinese boyfriend?"  It felt like I was missing some part of my heart I didn't even know I needed.

Thankfully after five or six months I did develop some close friendships which have meant the world to me.  And more of them are feeling natural every day.  I have a lot to be thankful for.


"If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that's his problem.  Love and peace are eternal."
-John Lennon