That's right, I'm now blogging in Chinese!

我跟我朋友说好我们每天都会写一些中文，让我们练习。 所以今天是我第一次来写。 因为我的中文还不好，我先会写我每天做的事。 如果一天我进步一点，可能写比较有趣的事。 我觉得我一定写错了但是我不在乎。没关系。

那我开始吧。 今天我朋友从宜都来玩。我在夷陵广场见她们。我们先去CBD逛街。我们吃饭然后看了电影。那个电影没有英文所以大部分的我听不懂。但是没事。很喜欢‎看。

我们看了钢铁侠2以后我跟她们一起去必胜客喝咖啡。她们的学生来和我们学一本很好的书。可能是我最后次来看这些朋友。因为我快回美国。她们也是。一定会很想她们。

现在我在听音乐（The Wallflowers）和准备明天的课。 我不太高兴。 这个月对我很难。因为去年六月二十日是我生活最难的天。 再者我不要想这件事情。没办法呢？ 我希望我妹妹或者我好好的朋友是跟我在宜昌。但是如果没办法应该想另外的事。明天是新的天。一定会比较好。

我喜欢写中文因为只有很少朋友会看得懂。如果他们了解没问题。但是我不太要所有的朋友看这个。哈哈。这个主意很不错。

晚安。

the truth

It turns out I'm so good at pretending I fool even myself.  I don't realize how I'm really doing until someone takes me by surprise.  For the most part I feel like I've been handling this year pretty well.  But tonight after our study Fe walked up to me and casually asked, "How's your brother?"  I felt like someone had just kicked me in the stomach.  I stuttered, "My brother?" because I thought surely he knew.  But he persisted, "Yeah.  Chris told me something happened..."  I took a deep breath and said the sentence in Chinese.  I had to learn it in Chinese because it is less real to me.  I'm not capable of saying those words in English.  But if I say them in Chinese they don't really exist, not in my mind.  They're some abstract idea that has no place in reality.

Apparently I handle things well because I prepare for them mentally.  But when someone unexpectedly reminds me I fall apart.  I spent the rest of the night sobbing uncontrollably.  So much for being strong.

shameless audacity

"Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.'  And suppose the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me.  The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed.  I can't get up and give you anything.'  I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need.

So I say to you:  Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, those who seek find; and to those who knock, the door will be opened.

Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?  If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?"

So keep asking.  Be shameless.  Be audacious.

In other news I'm not sure I want to go back to America.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Life hurts.  That's all there is to it.  It's not easy and it's not always fun.  Of course, there are times when it has you dancing around to Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.  Other times it leaves you standing in the rain, blue eyes crying with Willie Nelson.  Part of its charm is its unpredictable nature.

The past few months have not been the sunshiny type.  But I'm seeing some rays break through.  I'm taking a Chinese proficiency test this Sunday, and my friend was over helping me study this morning, when we got to talking about the holidays.  She asked if I was going to invite people over for Christmas, which has become a daily question lately.  I don't really know how to explain how difficult the holidays are going to be for me this year.  They suck.  I wish they weren't happening.  No I'm not inviting my friends over, because I don't want to see anyone.  I'm probably going to be in my room with the door shut, and if I'm not then I'm going to be a groucho extraordinaire.  Which I don't really want to subject my friends to.  Rather than looking at me as if I have some kind of disease when I told her I didn't really want to throw a party that day, she was remarkably understanding.  See, her brother died suddenly a few years ago and she said that the first Spring Festival without him was awful.  She hated it.  She said it took her a year and a half to be able to talk about him without crying.  At least I know I'm normal.  It was really nice to talk to her and realize that I'm not crazy.  That it would be weird if I didn't feel like that.  A lot of my friends around here react to crying with the following encouragement, "Don't be sad.  Tomorrow is another day.  You can do it!"  Which usually produces the opposite reaction from what they intended, by inspiring in me a sudden urge to punch someone.

So the point of all this rambling is, I'm really grateful for my friends.  I have the best ones.  And I'd like to thank our Father for blessing me with the right people at the right time.  He knows I need them.  The end.

Obama in China!

http://www.whitehouse.gov/photos-and-video/video/china-town-hall

Matthew 19

Poverty

is so hard to see

when it's only on your TV

or 20 miles across town

Where we're all living so good

that we moved out of Jesus' neighborhood

where he's hungry and not feeling so good

from going through our trash.

He says, More than just your cash and coin

I want your time

I want your voice

I want the things you just can't give me

So what must we do?

Here in the West we want to follow you

We speak the language and we keep all the rules

Even a few we made up

Come on and follow me

Sell your house, sell your SUV

Sell your stocks, sell your security

and give it to the poor.

Well what is this?

Hey what's the deal?

I don't sleep around and I don't steal

I want the things you just can't give me.

Because what you do to the least of these

My brothers you have done it to me

Because I want the things you just can't give me

"Perhaps there is no more dangerous place for a Christian to be than in safety and comfort, detached from the suffering of others."
-Jesus for President