anyway

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This worlds gone crazy
And it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
love em anyway

God is great but sometimes life aint good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway

"The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway."

-Mother Teresa's wall in Kolkata

the life you can save

I tend to irrationally think that marketing is of the devil: convincing people to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like. But an idea has been nagging at me recently that it can be an incredible tool for something besides consumerism. I'll let you read Nicholas Kristof's opinion about improving the world. Part of me is wishing I'd studied marketing in school instead of the waste of time I did study for 4 1/2 years. But who knows maybe I'll find a worthy use of knowing how to fluff pillows someday.

All jesting aside, the gist of the article [in case you don't feel like reading it] is that several countries are disturbingly far behind in meeting humanitarian aid pledges, and he proceeds to explore the reason we are so willing to save people we can see and recognize but remain coldly indifferent to the suffering of people far away. Kristof deplores how poorly aid groups advertise, "Any brand of toothpaste is peddled with far more sophistication than the life-saving work of aid group."

The problem seems to be that the more people die, the less we care. For example, in one study, people donate generously to Rokia, a 7-year-old malnourished African girl. But when Rokia’s plight was explained as part of a larger context of hunger in Africa, people were much less willing to help.

Anyway I could continue to give you a breakdown of the article but I'd rather encourage you to read it yourself.

I stumbled across your picture today

I could barely breathe

the moment stopped me cold and grabbed me like a thief

I dialed your number but you wouldn't be there

I knew the whole time but it's still not fair

I just wanted to hear your voice

I just needed to hear your voice

What do I do with all I need to say

so much I want to tell you every day

though it breaks my heart

I cry these tears in the dark

I write these letters to you but they get lost in the blue

cause there's no address in the stars

This is a test

This is a test to see if I can actually post a blog via email, and also plagiarize my sister.  She sent me this conversation she overheard between one of her friends and an Aussie.  So if this works and you read it please comment so I'll know it worked :)

Chao - I'm looking for a job.
Anonymous lady - Have you applied in a computer shop?
Chao (looking confused) - No, I applied at McDonald's.
lady - But aren't you good at fixing computers and things?
Chao - Um, I can fix my computer when it breaks.
lady - Can't you just tell people what's wrong with their computers and things?Aren't you really tech savvy?
Chao - No, I've never had any training with that.
lady - Well it seems like there are always Asians in computer shops.  You could probably get a job at a computer shop because you're Asian.  Why don't you go apply at one of those?

Now, I'm aware that some things in Asian cultures seem silly and irrational to Westerners.  For instance, in some cultures, when you're born, you're considered 1 year old.  

For anyone who is looking to make friends with someone from an Asian culture, let me just tell you that it is at least 3 times more ridiculous to try and change 2 students' minds on the subject.  They did not invent their culture's methods.  So you can waste your time trying to logically prove that people aren't one year old until they've lived 12 months outside the womb, but really, what are you accomplishing? 

You're succeeding in criticizing something that they can't help.  You're making them feel foolish.  You're probably offending them.  Besides that, let's entertain the notion that it's not as ridiculous as first appearances suggest.  Perhaps they start counting from conception.  Perhaps they use the number as "in the first year of life" rather than "has lived one year."

I'm not an expert on cross-cultural relationships, but I know one or two ways NOT to show care.

Love, peace, and pineapples

I just finished reading The Five Love Languages and I really liked it.  It's not anything he said was earth-shattering or even new--but a light bulb went on in my head and now I can see things that were vague shadows before.

I've known for a long time that I love spending time with people.  That the most mundane activities can become the highlight of my day when shared with someone I enjoy being around.  I just wasn't quite aware how vital quality time (and quality conversations) were to my sanity.

Dr. Chapman uses the metaphor of a "love tank" to illustrate how one feels at a particular time.  If your love tank is empty it can radically affect your entire outlook and happiness.

I don't like to admit it but I struggled with a hefty amount of culture shock a few months after coming here but I think I've stumbled upon the source of the difficulties.  The other Americans here were often busy and I rarely saw them, but my Chinese friendships were still too new to be deep--and growth hindered by cultural/communicative differences made them develop slowly.  I almost never got the chance to sit down and have a conversation more meaningful than, "Are you used to the climate here?" or, "Do you want a Chinese boyfriend?"  It felt like I was missing some part of my heart I didn't even know I needed.

Thankfully after five or six months I did develop some close friendships which have meant the world to me.  And more of them are feeling natural every day.  I have a lot to be thankful for.

"If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that's his problem.  Love and peace are eternal."

-John Lennon

孩子

I had a conversation tonight that just left me puzzled and smoldering with hidden anger over the injustice.  Now I don't plan to have kids so maybe I can't understand the kind of boy-fervor that seems to possess otherwise rational people at childbearing time.  Can someone please explain to me why having a son is better than having a daughter?

In a country where there is already a significantly greater number of boys than girls, it seems to me to be approaching foolishness to wish for a boy and be upset over having a girl.

This sweet, beautiful girl came over for dinner tonight and as we chatted she told me that she has 4 cousins who hate her.  I couldn't understand why they would feel that way so she explained.  The day she was born, her grandfather was so upset when he heard that she was a girl instead of a boy, that he had a heart attack and died.  Now her aunts feel as though it is her fault that she died, and have hated her since the day of her birth.  Naturally they passed those feelings on to her cousins.  Her own father even told her that if she had been a boy her grandfather would still be alive.

Has anyone besides me considered the fact that it's his own stinkin fault for wanting a boy so badly that he would get that upset about it?  I mean who has a heart attack about the birth of a new child?  I simply cannot grasp the reason behind the obsession.  I was just reading an article about the trafficking of stolen boys, especially in the South, where she is from.  People who have a daughter and the required sterilization are so desperate for a son that they buy them--from a kidnapper.

I just don't get it.

爱

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable... the only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers... of love is Hell.

-C.S. Lewis